The Daily Life of Emily

Headache all over, never could had thought this semester gonna have overload assignments again, but luckily enough, all assignments seems to be quite interesting n fun to do


Yesterday was Sam's birthday. Though I been told they were planning to go KL, I was never thought I was invited as well (as far I concern, it was supposed to be guys day)

Bryan n I eventually joined them at last minute, Sam goes to Ash, who actually was 'force' by 'someone'
Also joining us today is Jason, Yat Weng and Kenvin

We begin by having lunch at Berjaya Times Square Sushi King. Then we walk around to some toy shops


While Jason looking for a Gundam model with Yat Weng, Sam n Bryan walking around with dicussing Monster Hunter stuffs, Ash n Kenvin walk together looking for some outfits n I.....well....I walk alone. Wandering at the Japanese Food Fair center. Got so many nice Japanese goodies......

Finally all of us meet up again n we decided to spend time at Starbucks till the movie start. While at Starbucks, Bryan Jason n Kenvin play Monster Hunter, Ash, Yat Weng n Sam spending time together, n me.....doing assignments.....lol....

Then we hit to movie. We watch Dragonball Evolution (l0l). The story kinda dissapointed, it's not that bad BUT it's not either that good. The movie also moves too fast (in my opinion) n the story doesn't follow the original manga at all

Finally we decided to dinner at KFC before go back. It's already 10.30 so we decided to take cab to go back. I take a ride we Bryan ( a compulsary X3), Kenvin n Jason WHILE Ash with Sam n Yat Weng

Well overall the day just like normal but Bryan n I are VERY tired, not to mention that Yat Weng, Ash n I are also not so well for the whole day; Yat Weng is having terrible headache since morning, Ash keeps losing balance while walking n my chest is painful throughout the day...

I sleep quite early.......lol.......

I was browsing over some sexy male models photo then something come into my head; instead of looking n keeping other male models photos, why not just have mine instead?
wow, n I can't believe Bryan agreed to do this sexy model photoshot

After the incident I really lost all my strength n mood for the whole day. I went back home early. I dunno why but this time I keep crying. I always can stop crying when there's people's around, but this time I can't
Tina come over to talk about her great day with Daniel. However, I seems to spoil her great day by crying non-stop. Bryan came back but I told him to go out coz Tina n I are having 'Girl Talk'. What a lie. I continue crying

Tina then read my blog n become angry with Bryan 'had done' with me n planned to advise Bryan. Then Yat sms me, asking us to go Yumcha. I told Tina I dun wanna go n told Tina to just go with Bryan. I even asked her to tell Bryan that I wanna be alone for tonight for myself. I packed Bryan's laptop n Maxis n gave to Tina....I just can't go see him for now....

Half way however, I become so confused...I wanna be alone and yet, I wanna have someone with me...especially him...

I called Tina n told her that. I can hear a surrounding sound. I bet Tina let Bryan hear what I just said....Then Tina at my door n asked me to open the door. But instead going inside, she told me to go inside first. I got a feeling Bryan is at the back of the door

Then Bryan entered my room but I pretend I didn't know n thought it was Tina. Tina has left my house. Bryan hugged me n apologies. I cried. He wants me to tell me what's in my head but I refused n threaten will hit him if he force me

After awhile I slowly talk. I even told him of I had followed my heart instead of my rationale, I would have dumped him. Bryan suddenly crying...really crying...

For a moment I felt so bad. Bryan said that he don't want to lose me n he will never let go of me no matter what happened. I guess that's why he is crying; to know that he almost lose me...

Bryan slept early n breathing hard. There's must be a lot of things in his mind right now...

I just hope things will get better for both of us after this

Lately, these things troubles me a lot. I would never thought "Girl's Complexity" can be so troublesome and annoying

I don't want to be like most "fussy/typical type" gf do to their bf; wanting their bf to b with them 24/7. That is why I always let Bryan have his own time. I always let him play his game n don't fuss about it
But lately I dunno, it is me starting to become mengada-ngada or he is the one who seems to be onto his PSP too much?


Seriously I don't mind he play games, I never complain when last time he keep playing DOTA or other online games, he deserves his time oso
BUT lately I dunno la, I felt like this time he's too much into it, I want my time too n I felt like my time only juz a while at night before we go back to our unit and go to sleep......

Even nowadays I hardly feel special even though I know I am indeed special to him.....

As for today, I simply wear a nice outfit that he likes it very much after I showed to him 3 days ago just to feel special to him today. Yea he did react when he saw me today, but after that, nothing. He simply onto his PSP. Even Rob noticed it n comment about it. It happens when he walked past the Games Lab n he didn't wave me this time, instead, he just play his PSP, simply walks by. Rob mentioned that I had make a very bad move by recommend him PSP. He is right. Damn right
But in order to make thing sounds nice, I just smiled n said that we been playing PSP together every night (half true actually)
Rob become jealous instead of pitying me (but the truth is, I am very upset)

It would be very selfish if I said he doesn't react to my outfit today. He does, once, and supposedly it's enough already. But, but why I felt it's like not enough?
I want more....I sound so selfish. A one reaction is supposed to be enough already

Then when we reach Desaria, he asked me to buy him drink (usually he is the one who bought them). I don't mind buy him drinks but this time he ask me to do so coz he wants to play his PSP with Kenvin, Yat n Sam
And again I sounded like a selfish typical type of gf. It's like I want him to be with me 24/7, or I now started to feel like that coz he been spending too much time on his PSP? I dunno la


NOTE
Maybe that's why some Gamer Guys hardly get themselves a gf. Yea they loves their gf but the way they try to show to their gf sometimes wrong or hard for a girl to accept
It's true that some gf can tolerate with it but if it occurs to often, even the girl will reach her limits one day
If the guy is unlucky, the girl will dump him. But if he lucky, (if the girl is rational thinker) the girl will continue to be patient n stay with the guy

ADVISE for GAMER GUYS from the Point of view of a Girl
For guys, yea u guys deserves to have your time to play game n ur gf must tolerate with it n can't control your life
However, u must also have n give your time to the girl. The girl also deserves her time to be with you

My Rationale
If I really followed my emotions 100%, I would have dumped Bryan. But my rationale tells me that's the most stupid and silly thing to do!
Bryan is the best thing in my life. He is the best of all. He always make me smile. He always make me laugh. He always make me happy
I can't simply dump him over this silly matters. Some more that's what he is. I know it n I'm da one who should have learn to tolerate it
My god, so mixture my emotions

And I wish, wish so badly want someone to tell this to Bryan.....

"X da bf sedih, ada bf pon sedih. Haiz" ==" - sound so selfish

They are few things I did n I regret over it n one of them that I maybe considered I regret the most in my life now is recommend him a PSP

Lately he seems too into PSP; even when I went to toilet in few minutes he already grab his PSP, but I cannot say anything, that's his right...he deserves to do what he wants....after all, I went toilet quite sometimes (5 mins? wtf)
Then even when he went banzai oso he play PSP!

But then this morning, even after taking bath, still in towels, he play PSP while I had finish my preparation and prepare to go to campus.

Then as we waiting for the bus, with all the crowd n standing, he juz kept playing his PSP, not even once he look at me or even care about the crowd. My god, I know Kenvin, Yat n Sam also onto PSP but this time I think it's TOO much. Don't you think it already become some sort of obsession already??? Even his gf already been put aside!
To make the matter worse, he kept getting angry n cursing on the game. It's terribly annoying. I had completely lost my mood on the day

Despite today class supposed to be fun, Mr.Ivan, Digital Imaging, Photoshop stuffs, but I really had loose my mood n it's very obvious to everyone. I was so quiet, talk less, hardly smiling n even Rob commented that I look weak n my hair looks very down

On the way back I saw Bryan at the Games Lab, usually I will stop by at the Games Lab to see him before go back but this time I don't want to see him. I simply walks away. But earlier I saw Zaf telling something to Bryan n I can see Bryan's concern face n look outside to me. But still, I walked away

Then, after awhile I can her a rushing footsteps. I didn't turn. But somehow I know it's Bryan. Chasing me
And it's really him. I can see he is really concern on me. On my mood. I simply tells him that I am tired n sleepy. Despite it, he decided to accompany me to home

After awhile he did realized it has been his fault to my mood and he missed his evening class as he spent the whole day just to console me.....

Great.....I just made him missed his class......

I've been quite a demanding person (I guess) and being (too) sensitive really annoys me

It's upset me that despite I know their characteristic are like that or in other word that's what they are, I still fuss over about it.....

I keep making fuss, upset (merajuk) and angry over them on small matters and felt like they often make me upset often despite I know the truth is completely opposite; they make me more happy than make me feel upset

My father for instance, he is very kind person n very loving. He always makes me happy. But sometimes he made me upset with his fussiness, his silly temper and sometimes his very dominant in wanting himself to be the right one
I already 20 years with him n by now I should have tolerate with it. My mum always angry with me for not being able to tolerate with my father's attitudes despite he shows it rarely. She's right....

And now Bryan, I often gets upset with him in small matters...Most of the stuffs are VERY silly to fuss about when come to think again.....

I hate myself sometimes.........