The Daily Life of Emily

if u like something very much, but u can't excels in it, it's VERY frustrating n upsetting rite?

I LOVE games, I loves them, very much
I play a lot of games in the old days. I dun care much about winning, as long I can play, either to myself, or with others

But recently I felt it's too much already
I mean, can't I win, EVEN once??

Nowadays I suffered terrible "Inferior Complexity" towards my own brother Dean n my own boyfriend Bryan........

Dean n Bryan are so good in games. You can give them anything n they simply can win them with a very good remarks

I'm the one introduce Dean Monster Hunter, but now, despite he can't play everyday like me, he is far better than me. I used to think my char in MH is noob, have a weak defense n weak weapon. So all I can say, "hey! how am I supposed to do this quest?"
I've been doing the same quest over n over n over n over I failed T_T
I simply give to Dean n I dun really expect he can win
But the, not only he won
He won without getting knockout, using only small amount of supply items n even won within few minutes
n he use the char that I think noob!!!!!

n there's Bryan. We played Lineage 2 n Florensia together. He soo good in them, he can trade very well, he do marketing very well, n he can managing stats n skills VERY well
Did I mention the word VERY?

n can u guess what happend recently? I messed my char, both in Lineage 2 n Florensia T_T
man! I HATE MYSELF! SERIOUSLY!!!

Dun get me wrong, of corse I do feel proud about them (after all they are my brother n boyfriend)
But don't u think it's too much ady?

I LOVE games, but so far all games I can win in Easy mood only, I hardly passed Normal mood,
what the hell?!! n you call yourself a gamer gurl??!!

of course I never said this to anyone. Owh come on! A gamer gurl who can only win in Easy mood? Haiya!!

Oso, anothet embrassing n painful thing to admit. Even today I still dunno to use blog or forum!
previously I dun really give a damn about it, but now I need it, for a gamer, it's VERY important to read blogs or forums to update about games

man.......I'm very upset. Very, very. very upset
but I never talk about this, coz, I know, it's very stupid, very silly to talk about it
I mean people can say, "u feel upset juz bwcuase you're not good in game? owh come on! grow up gurl!!"

but it's very frustrating n upsetting to me, for I can do good in something I really like, love n very dedicated into.....